There's more to Ilkley than Ilkley Moor

On Ilkla Moor baht t'at via Kent

2011-11-14T16:31:00.009Z

Or how the Truth came about!

For a born and bred Yorkshireman to admit the County's beloved supposed anthem is not from The Broad Acres would send him to the tower were there one in the offing. Fortunately there isn't and hopefully folk will give Cranbrook in Kent it's rightful place in the proceedings. Here then is a hand across a bar in hope we can enjoy a pint or two together.

A Yorkshireman's Wish

It might also help Yorkshire to win a few cricket matches along the way.

T'other t'at

And they say the camera dosen't lie!

2010-04-21T12:25:00.002+01:00

Turn the picture upside down for the best effect

LS 29 Hair Team - Skipton Road - Ilkley

2010-04-16T14:16:00.001+01:00

Vertical Scrap Iron for Sale

2010-04-06T16:04:00.001+01:00

Views of Craiglands Hotel

2010-04-06T15:57:00.000+01:00

Views of Craiglands Hotel

2010-04-06T15:51:00.001+01:00

This should help the Planning Committe.

Yorkshire Hospitality

2010-04-06T15:46:00.005+01:00

Two things trueborn Yorkshire folk are noted for are hospitality and friendliness. Especially to those not of the area. We are also known for calling a spade a spade. Not a JCB! It is hoped Ilkley’s ‘Friends of’ groups don’t forget the difference between the latter and a spade.

Unfortunately this area is covered with the most unimaginable clauses and constrictions, which would drive even the best legal eagles to pull out their hair. Assuming they had some to start with. When these clauses and constrictions fall into the hands of lesser mortals dire consequences arise. Unless that is they follow that which true born Yorkshire folk have in great profusion. Friendliness and hospitality.

By all means set out rules but make very sure those rules do not make life impractical for all but the rule makers. Take for example a recent ruling that all animals apart from dogs may not accompany a human on a beach. Folk are known to have walked cats and rabbits on leash and harness on the beach. Unusual perhaps, but if this contrary Act is finalised it won’t be just cats and rabbits that can’t enjoy the seaside with their owners.

Horses and allied quadrupeds will be stopped from centuries old access to the beach and foreshores. Once again this Government with it’s ill thought out schemes hit the wrong targets. Much like Grouse fleeing from a shooter with little regard for that which brought Royalty and Prime Ministers to Ilkley Moor. Friendliness and Hospitality.

The second Ilkley Key

2010-02-09T12:35:00.003Z

Key presented to Councillor Jackson on the opening of Ilkley Town Hall in 1909.

A Plea from Ginger the Breadman

2010-01-30T15:44:00.000Z

Recently our bakery produced Gingerbread Persons for sale in Personaton and Personkinholes. We also sold some in Personhall and Personmarsh. A Person from Personkirk requested Gingerbread Persons be sent via Personcross on the Person train for Personwell. Unfortunately the Person at Personwell fell down a Personhole before collecting our Gingerbread Persons from a Signal Person, who stopped the Person train on it’s way to Kemeys Compersonder. Our delivery person is distressed and lost along with a batch of Gingerbread Persons for Personningham, Personchester. The vehicle was last seen in the Personzieburn area.

I apologise not to those in this world who feel my PC is incorrect. Wrong ideas put forward or wrong buttons pressed cause great distress to lesser mortals. PC is an airy-fairy attitude best left on the other side of the pond. Our whole culture, language, industry and commerce is being eroded by mis-informed, soft headed individuals, who find it impossible to describe that which is before them in a true manner. For heavens sake leave well alone.

The Meldrew Syndrome.

2010-01-30T15:42:00.000Z

I’m beginning to worry the latter syndrome is infectious. Or has my hearing become more sensitive since giving up smoking? There again it could be a formerly unknown geological fault runs along part of Queens Road. Frequent crashings and bangs coupled with strong vibrations and the occasional plate dropping off the wall has afflicted my abode for some years. Apart from the odd ceiling crack nothing so violent took place during re-development of the Wells House estate next door. Perhaps the agonised cries (the neighbour calls it singing) heard from below could be due to similar objects dropping on the un-suspecting individual. More likely a lack respect for neighbours which brings about the loud noises. Often well into the early hours of the morning, like four thirty. I believe the correct term for this is Neighbour from Hell.

OTLEY CHURCH YARD

2010-01-30T15:40:00.001Z

Conservation is not just the countryside in general. Nor ancient buildings. Conservation affects the very fabric of community life. I often spend time in Otley’s Parish Church yard, noting headstones and what their antecedents gave to the community. My favourites were people unafraid to publicise their standing in the town. For instance, John Cundall Knowlson, one of Otley’s Druggists, Farriers and Cattle Doctors died in 1834. Or the wife of an Inn Keeper who was also daughter of an Otley rope maker. A magnificent head stone from his master for a lowly groom, and another for a ‘respectful servant’ of Farnley Hall.

A Yeoman rubs shoulders with shoe makers, surgeons, iron founders, a stay maker, farmers or a musical instrument maker. Over fifty trades or professions, not forgetting navies who died building Bramhope tunnel. So why, my reader asks, mention the above? Otley has a thriving community, whether dead or alive by comparison to Ilkley. Where with the odd exception, they appear to suffer the ‘sleeping sickness’.

Headstones which surrounded Ilkley’s Parish Church, before removal in years past, were piled like flagstones in undergrowth, forgotten. So what has this to do with conservation? Otley is noted for it’s ‘community spirit’ and their dead, or at least those who count are still a part of the town’s ‘community’. Ilkley’s on the other hand are sound asleep. At least according to what the headstones would have you believe.

A Paradise of Inspiration

2010-01-30T15:35:00.001Z

Great Aunt Clementine’s brilliant idea for Bradford city centre.

My nephew informs me another bright idea has fused. Perhaps flooding your town centre was not the best formula given climate change. It crossed my mind your town needs a radical answer to the demolition site in it’s midst. Why not plant a footprint instead of water. A carbon footprint that is. A garden similar to Central Park and dedicated to that most honorable of personages, St Jude. While you are at it twin with Liverpool, they have enough water for the pair of you.

Already I can picture a St Jude’s Park in central Bradford. A place where townsfolk lose their way in dreams of what might be, would be, should be. A place to sow the seeds of understanding, to cultivate harmony among the blossoming of adversity. The fruit of your labours leading to the harvest of ideas and a compost heap of ill thought out projects. Which, like weeds, choke common sense from the chambers of Council.

A garden is a dream a beautiful dream.
.

Ilkley's Hostelries - early 20th Century.

2010-01-30T15:27:00.002Z

Masons of the Wild Moors

2010-01-16T12:53:00.001Z

MOORLAND MASONS

Oh windswept moor
What hold have you on Man.
Your time ravaged stones
Bear witness to the Mason's chisel.

What mysteries do you hold
In Cup and Ring,
Swastica and
Standing stones.

Your rugged outcrops
Have not been missed
By the art of men in stone.

But still they come
And try to chisel,
Albeit not very far.

For times have changed
Or so they say
Today the Mason is called
THE VANDAL.

The above poem was transmitted,
along with the poets notorious car
‘Poetry in Motion’,
by BBC Look North in 1984.

The Ingle Stone

2010-01-16T12:51:00.001Z

Cow and Calf

Grey and solitary
But for your daughter,
Gazing forlornly
‘cross Wharfe’s pastures green.
Carved by the elements
And by the minions,
Disturbingly beautiful
In a gaunt sort of way.
Skirts of bracken, forever changing
Drawing the peasants for rest and for play.
Sun baked, snow capped,
Forever eroding.
How will you look in our grandchildren’s day.

Will you be solitary or covered in hoardings.
Will there be snack bars and crisp packs galore.
Crushed for a motorway, your back a heli-pad,
Or will Man leave you
In peace evermore.

Frazer Irwin

Thoughts on a Spring Day

2010-01-16T12:47:00.002Z

The Beacon

The Beacon has gone.
I know it will return
Gone behind curtains of fragile green
Of glowing copper and boughs
Of cascading white candles.

Our moods are the same.
Distant and sorrowful.
Close,
Very close, then distant again.
When the glowing copper turns to bronze
And the fragile greens fall,
The Beacon will return.

.

Wharfedale Gate

2010-01-16T12:44:00.000Z

A gate to Wharfedale's pastures green,
Her limestone pavements,
The village scene.
This rugged land
Of Grouse and sheep,
Has made so many tourists weep.
For they have passed this eating house,
Without a sign to it's where abouts.
But now a SIGN!
A master piece,
To ales and dales
And ample eats.
So pray, lift your glass,
Forget about the signless past,
Drink the health to man and boy,
In Wharfedale's pastures green.

The above was inspired by a pubsign which once stood outside
the former Wharfedale Gate Roadhouse, Ilkley.

Would someone up there put the plug in, please?

2010-01-16T12:41:00.000Z

Be prepared for the thaw - Sandbag Suppliers

2010-01-08T13:56:00.002Z

http://www.sandbagsuppliers.co.uk/

Snow in Ilkley - 2010.

2010-01-06T14:19:00.002Z

Christmas came on Grove Promenade once a year.

2009-12-16T14:51:00.001Z

Lost - Ilkley Moor!

2009-12-11T17:11:00.002Z

Moved during the night.

Reports were noted of Ilkley Moor beside Bingley, Keighley, Skipton, Baildon, Burley in Wharfedale. Also Pudsey and Otley, but we feel the latter stretched even this lump of rubble too far. Should anyone find Ilkley Moor, would they please return it to it’s rightful place. No questions asked. Thank you.

The above was placed in a local paper some years ago after it became clear few knew the boundaries of Ilkley Moor.

If one goes by the letter of the law, Ilkley Moor no-longer exists.

However Ilkley Moor is but a small part of the larger Rombalds Moor, a fact often overlooked by those not aquainted with this part of Yorkshire, equally by natives. It may seem a small point, but how often do we see houses for sale beside Ilkley Moor when in fact they are in Burley, Bingley, Hawksworth, Baildon or Keighley. The same goes for holiday venues, paintings, postcards etc.

Ilkley Moor is a publicly owned urban common: open access without restriction. Managed primarily for public amenity and nature conservation interest.

Burley Moor is privately owned urban common with Order of Limitation which restricts access to routes at certain times of the year. Managed primarily as grouse moor with a degree of public access.

Hawksworth Moor, Bingley Moor, Morton Moor, Addingham High Moor are privately owned with public access only along definative rights of way. Managed as grouse moors.

Because weather conditions can rapidly change on the upper regions (even in summer) it is best to know which Moor you are walking over, because your life may depend on it. Also it would greatly help emergency services to know exactly where you are in case of accident.

What point is there telling them you are on Ilkley Moor with a broken leg, when in actual fact you could be on Hawksworth, Bingley, Morton or Baildon Moors.

The Leming.

2009-12-11T17:09:00.000Z

Listening to Local radio it appears Ilkley’s wish for more fragrant facilities are within reach. Following intensive research a company are to award their first ‘Limited Edition Millennium Interacting Natural Generator’ to a deserving Yorkshire tourist town. Fondly known to it’s creator as The Leming.

This generator of Public waste could replace Ilkley’s outdated inconveniences.

The ideal position for this first of many should be the former Winter Gardens site. Being near to the Town Hall, would cut even more costs as the generator relies on a steady supply of bureaucratic garbage. Being fitted with CCTV, the units are vandal proof. It is expected the first will be ready by the end of March to be fitted early in April.

Brook Street Horse Trough - Ilkley

2009-12-07T13:50:00.001Z

Father Christmas visits Bar t'at 2009

2009-12-04T14:42:00.001Z

Giant Rombald lives.

2009-12-04T12:04:00.000Z

Before Global Warming

2009-11-27T15:22:00.001Z

Bar T'at – Where’s that?

2009-11-27T14:53:00.005Z

Two Yorkshire lads were deep in conversation about all that’s good in the Broad Acres.

“So where’s tha bin since last I saw thee, not Ilkley Moor that’s for sure?”

“Bar T’at that’s where.”

“Bar T’at!”

“Aye Bar T’at.”

“What’s Bar T’at when it’s all there?”

“You never heard of Bar T’at?”

“Nay lad it’s a while since I were ower your way, what’s a lad like me missin?”

“The best Ale, Wine and Vidals hostelry in Ilkley that’s what.”

Standing within a few hundred yards of the historic town centre, possibly on the edge of a Roman road, Bar T'at is untypical of many Dales hostelries. Over the ten years since conversion from a shop an awesome variety of ales has flowed from it’s pumps. Coupled with fine wines, scrumptious food and that which costs nowt, good old Yorkshire hospitality. Being without background music, television and everything else most expect from a public house makes Bar T'at all the more inviting. And that’s where we’ll leave the touristy hype.

I’m often surprised at the number of old friends who gather at Bar T'at which proves there’s something worth travelling many miles to savour. On finding wi-fi access Bar T'at became my local, the computer failed but the ale and hospitality did not. In fact, like a good wine it gets better the longer you keep it, or in the case of Bar T'at the more you visit. Knowing it is a Cask Marque hostelry makes all the difference especially having staff who really know the difference between Ale, Porter and plonk.

Finding one is wheat intolerant made life distinctly difficult when out with friends. However thanks to Market Town Taverns and Nick Stafford's Hambleton Ales, Bar T'at are the only hostelry in Ilkley to stock GFA - Gluten & Wheat Free Ale. While older hostelries have character on the outside it is those within who bring it’s real character to the fore. The folk behind the bar at Bar T'at enjoy their work as much as their custom enjoy their com-pany and that which they imbibe.

To sum up Ilkley without Bar T'at would be like roast beef without Yorkshire pudding.

Since this was first written whetever was causing the problem has vanished. Which is just as well because I can now enjoy my favourite beer - Mary Jane.

Tha's bin a cooartin Mary Jane but not on Ilkla Mooar baht t'at this time!!!

Bar T'at Bash - 2009

2009-10-27T11:09:00.003Z

Many thanks to all who made last Sunday eve a memorable time for all.

Here's to the next twenty years and once again,

Good Luck to all who sail through her doors. :-)

Would write more but still recovering!

Baht t'at or Bar t’at

2009-10-24T12:06:00.004+01:00

A remarkable set of coincidences pre-date the opening of an Ale and Wine Bar in Ilkley, part of the West Riding of Yorkshire. The name being derived from a song first sung near the Cow & Calf rocks on Ilkley Moor, by a C19th chapel choir from Halifax, if we are to believe history. The hymn tune however is not of Yorkshire origin. That belongs to one Thomas Clark, a boot and shoemaker, formerly of Canterbury and later the Kent village of Cranbrook.

Clark was born in 1775. The year of another, who at a future date would leave his mark at Farnley Hall a few miles down river in Wharfedale. The water colour artist J W Turner. It is possible Turner walked the moors, which in part, inspired the words to the song. Clark died in 1859 and would have gone un-noticed in this quarter had it not been for another from Kent visiting Ilkley to Take the Waters. Charles Darwin resided from October to December in Ilkley when On the Origin of Species by Natural Selection was published, during November of that year.

Just under a hundred and fifty years later Bar t’at begins celebration of it’s tenth year in Ilkley in October 2009.

The song, like the ales and wines at Bar t’at has changed over the years, yet the original is still with us. Though I do wonder if a student could use Bar t’at as part of their final exam paper. A Cambridge graduate had a memory block in one of their science papers. Frantic at trying to remember the Nitrogen Cycle the words of Ilkla Moor Baht t’at came to mind. This was written in the paper and the student gained a 2-1.

Happy 10th Birthday to Bar T'at and may all who pass through it's doors have a many a jovial time.

ON ILKLA MOOR BAHT NOWT

2009-09-11T13:05:00.001+01:00

Formerly known as The Heather Spa, Ilkley lies on the edge of the Yorkshire Dales National Park, amongst some of the most spectacular and unspoilt scenery in the country. Immortalised by Yorkshire’s so-called ‘national anthem’ the words - according to tradition - composed by a Halifax church choir during a jocular picnic beneath the Cow and Calf rocks. However the hymn tune – Cranbrook – was composed by a cobbler from Kent.

Today, the town made infamous by the song is popular for it’s outdoor activities. Offering the holiday maker chance to walk neighbouring Ilkley and Rombalds Moors and magnificent limestone Dales. Climb impressive rocky outcrops or simply totter around nearby tourist centres. Ilkley is an excellent base for visiting nearby Leeds, Harrogate, York, Bradford , Yorkshire’s Dales and the coast. But there’s more to Ilkley than fresh air.

Besides the River Wharfe, gardens and ghylls, moors and woodlands create a pleasing country context within a brisk (pedestrians had better be fleat of foot) town of tree lined avenues, select shops and restaurants, the odd hotel and Victorian style guest houses. In and around the town, various buildings and local landmarks still provide evidence of Ilkley’s early history.

Prehistoric man carved the curious cup and ring marked rocks on the moors. Most notable are the Panorama Rock and mysterious Swastica Stone. In AD 79 the Romans built the fort of Olicana on which stand the Parish Church and the Castle. Ilkley’s Dark Age crosses alongside the much overlooked Roman Alter to Verbia in All Saints Church.

For centuries Ilkley remained a small village from which some fine buildings survive. The Parish Church established before the Norman Conquest, a fourteenth century yeoman farmer’s house, called The Castle, Old Grammar School of 1637 and much photographed Ilkley Bridge of 1675.

Squire Middleton in the mid 18th century had built Ilkley Spaw with two stone baths open to the sky. It was another hundred years before the Cold Water Cure came to Ilkley and the town became The Heather Spa. Ilkley Spaw - White Wells - is fed from three springs having no discernible mineral qualities apart from their coolness and purity. A quick plunge and hearty towelling induced a feeling of well being.

As the Hydropathic fashion grew, so too did Ilkley. Large Hydropathics were built along the moor edge. Ben Rhydding, now demolished, Craiglands and Wells House, the latter designed by Cuthbert Broderick (architect of Leeds Town Hall). By the 1890’s fifteen hydros flourished. As well as the Cold Plunge, patients could ‘take the waters’.

It was claimed, “The sparkling liquid that gushes from Ilkley’s hills is not less exhilarating than champagne, and of such water it may be said with truth what is said of such wine, there is not a headache in a hogshead of it.” Notably Charles Darwin took The Cold Water Cure at White Wells while Origin of Species was being published in 1859. Nearly did him in too!

The coming of the railway in 1865 brought wool men from Leeds and Bradford for fresh air without fumes. They built baronial villas with landscaped gardens of Rhododendron, flower borders, evergreens and orchards.

Accompanied by pleasing streets of Victorian middle class housing which makes up much of the town. Now matured the whole adds to Ilkley’s uniqueness. Many of Ilkley’s Victorian buildings are of particular note: these include Christchurch built in 1868, to which Sir Titus Salt donated £400.

St. John’s House and nearby St Margaret’s Parish Church on Queens Road, both designed by eminent Victorian architect Norman Shaw. Ilkley College 1869, later became the Deaconess College, whose Principal Rev T Bowman Stephenson founded The National Children’s Home.

Ilkley developed and a new townscape appeared. A splendid Town Hall, Public Library and Assembly Hall in 1908 with ornately carved local stone. Later the Winter Gardens. The west side of Brook Street includes some of Ilkley’s earliest surviving shops, in the late Victorian and early Edwardian vernacular. Beanlands Arcade between Church Street and South Hawkesworth Street dates from 1895.

Further examples of Victorian architecture are found on The Grove, whose wide pavement and tree lined thoroughfare were typical of the era. A tea room stands on the site of Green Lane Cottage, of whom it is said Madame Tussaud lodged.

By 2007 The Urban Country Gentleman began moving into the most desirable address, or so estate agents re-named Ilkley. The place was looking decidedly worse for wear. Large villas flogged off for over development of land. Drains blocking at the slightest drizzle. Sewers struggling to take up-market s!!! from multi–looed des-res. Even the pigeons prefered croutons to crumbs.

Gateway to Knowledge for the 21st Century

2009-05-20T15:59:00.007+01:00

Ilkley has been first for many things, when farsighted residents realised there was more to, to quote a 19th Century doctor, “a mucky little hole with a beck running down the middle.” I wonder how many playing the NYMBY remember the Secondary school on Valley Drive? Or thought of residents beside the former Wells House campus and the estate built thereon. Many fought against it but had to put up with it. Also those developments in Ilkley over the past thirty years. Often with families who needed schooling.

When Scalebor Park Hospital (near Burley in Wharfedale) closed, it left an ideal site for a large school. Complete with sports fields, theatre/assembly hall, gymnasium, craft rooms and many things a thriving school required. The present Grammar School is coming, if not already, to bursting point. Leeds built a superb new grammar school in a rural setting which does much to complement the area. Why not Ilkley?

Why not a grammar school to compliment the 21st Century? There is room on the proposed site for playing fields with transport nearby. Hopefully too a school canteen of such proportion students will not fill nearby shops. A less constrained building would go a long way to opening young minds to the world around.

Instead of NIMBY perchance Ilkley Grammar School – The Gateway to Knowledge and The Dales.

Having a 101 year old Carnegie Public Library in Ilkley would have helped the above, were it not for the governing District Council prefering frivolity and not fact.

But as things are going the Library like the school is much too small for modern requisits. There is, on Brook Street, the ideal building for a new library. With plenty of space for books, InterNet, offices, reading rooms and, dare I suggest a small cinema too. The former Woolworths store. Must the people of Ilkley wait till their present Library turns to dust or will their prayers to whatever God be answered?

TOURISM & TOURIST BROCHURES

2009-05-11T15:31:00.002+01:00

Part 3

Darwin Gardens Millennium Green is the name given to re-vamped West View Park. An Edwardian park layed out in approximately 1904. It is not a new landscaped area. The Millennium Green commemorates Darwin’s stay in Ilkley while taking Ilkley's waters in 1859. Whether by good luck or management ‘On Origin of Species by Natural Selection’ not ‘Origin of the Species’ was published during his stay. I will put the pre-history on how West View Park became Project Darwin later to be Darwin Gardens Millennium Green on line at a later date.

For too long the council and residents have seen fit to shorten the name of Riverside War Memorial Gardens to Riverside Gardens. Apart from what is already written there is little else to add. The Fylfot (Swastika) Stone is on a rock outcrop, not a boulder, on the edge of Ilkley Moor slightly to the west of Hebers Ghyll. There is plenty of room on the leaflet to tell visitors where Hebers Ghyll lies. Personally I prefer not to use terms like ‘thought to be’ when dealing with historical artefacts of unknown use.

We are going for melt down again! As with the term ‘thought to be’ there is another which makes me cringe, ‘suggested.’ Often writers of tourist brochures take these terms to be fact and continue the myth without research. If we don’t know for sure what their intended use was, we should not ‘suggest’ one. At least not without clarification of where the ‘suggestion’ came from.

A typical example of these vague remarks which eventually became an Urban Myth is in a volume about Victorian Ilkley. The author states, “...it seems he eventually decided to give the narrow strip of land to the town....” Could the author not use a telephone? A short call to Bradford Council legal department would have told him the strip of land, Mill Ghyll, is on a 999 year lease. To Ilkley Local Board of Health and/or their descendants

The writer cannot definitely state all Cup and Ring Stones on Ilkley Moor are associated with Bronze age burials. Even eminent archæologists haven’t a clue what they were carved for. It’s like the Victorians stating the plunge baths at White Wells were of Roman origin, when in fact they were built somewhere between the late 1600s to mid 1700s. That is the nearest anyone can come to the date as no exact records exist today.

Where is all this leading, you ask? Very simple, to promote something one must be truthful about it’s content. No longer can visitors be fobbed off with ‘romantic’ notions about the town. Those who visit spend money in some cases a great deal of money. Our traders, shopkeepers, restraunt or hotel owners want them to do this regularly. What they don’t want, as with the American visitors, is people coming to find something is buried under tons of soil, ‘romantic’ visions from another era and once again, badly researched information.

I won’t embarrass those who put the tourist brochure together by naming them. Let this be a warning to any who decide to write another. It is the solemn duty of all who write Tourist Information to tell your prospective visitors the truth. Anything less and you are doing a great dis-service to the area you are writing about. Also to future generations who are stuck with Urban Myths brought about by poor research.

Pick up Thy Scythe and Walk to the Hills

2009-04-08T15:33:00.000+01:00

How many feeling the Moor to be the property of Ilkley, realise it is covered with National Monuments, the property of all. Are we looking in the wrong direction for bracken control? Certain Parish Councillors may remember my suggestion to hold scything competitions or festivals on the Moor. Much like ploughing matches on lowland areas. Marie Hartley and Joan Ingleby in their book Life and Traditions in the Yorkshire Dales show bracken being cut and harvested with scythe and fell pony.

In 1940 bracken was used for bedding and manuring. Bradford are forever telling us to compost so what’s stopping us composting bracken today? The end product to be used on Ilkley’s parks and gardens. This be could a way of controlling the weed while saving the dying rural art of upland or hill scything? Also bringing revenue from competitors, visitors and the media. Last time it was brought up various excuses against were given. Insurance or Health & Safety for instance. I do believe there is something called a disclaimer. Cost was another. How many quibbled at the cost of Parties in the Park, various festivals and the like. Lets have some lateral thinking for a change.

I can think of a few other harebrained ideas which changed the Dales landscape and not often for the better. velocipede, horseless carriages, heavier than air machines, to name three. Which would you prefer? The drumming of helicopter blades & weedkiller, or the gentle swish of scythe blades preserving a rural art, tradition and ideal. I believe it was Voltaire who quoted, “Men argue, Nature acts.” A member of the Countryside Team commented that it would take 28 years to eradicate bracken by this method. That’s 28 years of scything festivals and all the revenue, visitors etc., which goes with it. If Devon and Lancashire can do it then why can’t Yorkshire?

Memories of Latter Days

2009-03-17T13:31:00.000Z

WHAT'S BECOME OF ILKLEY

The other day I walked a street,
Mid leafy boughs and soft hoof beat,
Where moorland breezes cooled the air,
And parasols, hid maidens, fair.

There in the distance
Fading from sight,
A man led his donkeys
Home for the night.

Those sun dappled pavements
Are silent no more.
No donkeys, horse carriages,
Just a motorised roar!

The parasols gone
Fair maids, one by one,
Their children and grandchildren
Don't care anymore.

No longer the village
I knew as a child,
Just a place where the architect
And planner goes wild.

Imor

Chicken or Beef Kurma

2009-02-20T16:25:00.003Z

1 packet of "LAZAT ADABI" kurma powder.
600g (2 pounds) chicken or beef.
2 medium-sized red onions.
1 or 2 bulbs of garlic.
Some ginger (maybe about a thumblength).
1 can coconut milk
I added this since it should be listed here as an ingredient.
3 potatoes; quartered.
Oil for sauteeing.
Salt to taste.

Directions: 1. Slice onions, garlic and ginger. Heat a little oil and then sauteuntil fragrant (or until the ingredients are a bit wilted from the heat).
2. Mix kurma powder with water until it reaches batter consistency. Pourinto the pan with the sauteed ingredients.
3. Occasionally stir the mixture until fragrant, or until you see the oilrise to the top of the gravy (around 8-10 minutes).
4. Add chicken or beef, and a little water if needed. The base should bea little soupy.
5. Cover and let it cook on medium heat until chicken or beef is halfdone.
6. Add the coconut milk, potatoes and cover until the meat and potatoesare done.
7. Salt according to taste.
8. Serve. The last part is the list of spices in the mix:Coriander, cumin & anise seed (the two types of "jintan" hence the doubleusage of the word), star anise, white pepper, clove, rice flour andcardamoms.

NB: Kurma is usualy served with rice, and it's not spicy (as in chillihot) and it is one of the dishes that Malay children are able to eat,before they are introduced to spicier dishes. Anyway, this is a prettybasic but solid recipe for kurma. Usually every Malay family has theirown take on the recipe, som handed down for generations.

P/S: Translation of wsome of the words: Garam is salt, while biji is the_________; "lada putih" is white pepper. *lol* you are right, it hasnothing to do with the automobile... I hope you get to enjoy the kurma recipe, and please let me know how it turns out.

The Ten Demandments

2009-02-20T16:21:00.001Z

How to deal with awkward officials!

First written by a retired
Whitehall Civil Servant to help those in dire need.

1. Write two letters saying precisely the opposite things and post them on the same day.

2. Ask for an official complaints form and, a copy of the complaints procedure. Write on your envelope, ‘sent by recorded delivery’.

3. Add an extra letter or figure to the reference you are asked to quote on your replies.

4. Send ‘one’ page of an obviously ‘two’ page letter, or ‘two’ of a ‘three’!

5. Enclose a P.O/cheque for a small amount -5p or 10p, when no one has asked for it, or enclose an invoice for £467,943 or similar with your letter and write ‘must be paid in seven days’ on it.

6. Make reference to a letter you never wrote.

7. Make reference to a letter they never wrote.

8. Add a postscript to your letter saying you have sent a copy to Mr Algenon Stutter-Harvey, in Brussels or Strasbourg. There doesn’t have to be a Mr Algenon Stutter-Harvey, or similar high sounding name. A close study of the initials will show how the writer feels! Used carefully, a secret message can be passed on without the recipient realising. M.A.S.H!

9. Ask the Administrator for his name, age and official description. Then ask for the name of his superior. In seconds, you can turn the most obnoxious, ‘just doing my job’ git, into shivering jelly!

10. If all the above fails, take a one way ticket to your MP’s office in Westminster, state your case, then ask for a sub to buy a ticket home.

The above must only be used either as a last resort, or after the writer has corresponded with the Department for a minimum of three letters. If writing to a Government Minister, make sure you send ‘identical’ letters to the other Parties, on the same day. If your intended ‘target’ fails to reply before an opposition member, write again and point this out, asking for a reply by return post. Keep all letters on paper neatly filed for quick reference.

DON’T FORGET

Always complement when matters are redressed.
Remember, writing good letters is not an art, but a science.

How Green was Your Valley

2009-02-13T13:19:00.004Z

Perhaps Concerned of Ilkley and those who see the felling of trees on Ilkley Moor as scandalous should think about conditions in Australia. There is strong opinion bush fires would not have been as bad if environmentalists had allowed clearance of dead wood, bracken, etc.

Phil Cheney, a bushfire researcher, said he was ‘totally frustrated’ by his Government’s failure to reduce forest density. A resident of Strathewen, ravaged by bush fires, said the Greenies issued a statement that nought had to be touched. That is none removal of dead wood because a little mouse might be living under it. Now both people and the mouse are dead.

Travelling the Yorkshire Dales and other rural areas it soon becomes evident our Countryside is being ruined by mis-informed factions who can’t see the wood for trees. Hedges were planted in the main to keep stock in and/or people out. A well-laid hedge also provides much needed cover for nesting birds, insects and smaller animals. Leaving a hedge to grow open and as book environmentalists are apt to say, natural, defeats the object of a hedge.

It is also open to pest, disease and rampaging peasants. There are many examples close at hand where the book environmentalists have held sway. The woods over by Middleton are arboreal scrap yards. I warned Ilkley Parish Council and Bradford Metropolitan District Council what would happen if they didn’t clear felled timber. Fifteen years ago I warned them.

However they took the book environmentalists attitude and what have we now. Erosion like you’ve never seen before in the bluebell beds. Erosion which should never have happened, if those supposedly in power had listened to people trained in woodcraft and the like. Sometimes folk interpret what they see as a hedge, when in fact it is not, which leads to all kinds of mis-information.

The same goes for the Victorian Landscape Garden some are apt to call the lower reaches of Ilkley Moor. When Man disturbs Nature all hell breaks loose unless a degree of careful management takes place. Look at The Tarn for instance. Look closely. Look at it’s banks, look at the carriageways, look at the footpaths which lead to it. What are natural about those? One could say what indeed is natural.

There’s been talk of late about putting fences on common land. No-one opposed the fence Bradford Metropolitan District Council put up near Henshaw’s Pond. They nearly fenced the whole off. Crazy when one thinks what it was built for in the first. Nor did anyone oppose the fence Leeds Diocese put up on common land, in front of the four hundred year old way marker at the junction of Langbar Road, Slates Lane and Hardings Lane, beside Bridlepath 1. Why did those in the know fail to squawk about that one too? Were they more afraid of mammon than God? Pedants like principals only work if everyone understands them.

The countryside section fenced areas on the moor to stop sheep amongst other things from chewing newly planted trees. I do remember the same section planting an area of land near Cowper Cross with heathers. Heathers I may add which were not native to The Moor. Then there’s those trees planted along the edge of the moor by the former Darwin Gardens Trust.

They are as much out of place as those spreading across The Moor and will, eventually, block any view of White Wells from below, or the Millennium Green from White Wells. In the year celebrating Charles Darwin’s birth and publishing of his monumental book one does wonder what he, a botanist and scientist, would think of Ilkley Moor and neighbouring countryside today. Equally the attitude to the environment by those so-called experts, the book environmentalists.

Ryba Zapiekana w Sosie Chrzanowym

2009-02-11T13:30:00.002Z

Wow that's some name!
To put you out of your misery, we are led to believe
it's Polish baked fish and horseradish.

One and half pounds fish fillets.
An ounce of melted butter.
A teaspoon of vinegar.
Some salt.
Three and a half ounces grated horseradish.
1 medium apple, peeled and chopped fine.
Six fluid ounces soured cream.
Some sugar.
Dabble fish with salt and vinegar.
Put in buttered baking pan with melted butter.
Bake in oven two hundred degrees C., for ten minutes.
Mix apple with horseradish, stir in cream and season with salt and sugar.
Pour sauce over fish and bake for another fifteen minutes.
It goes well with boiled potatoes.
Imagine ordering the above with two penneth at the local chippy!
Chefs tip. Be sure to wash hands well after working with Horseradish. The above recipe is printed in good faith and we apologise to anyone who feels aggrieved at the procedure.

ALTERNATIVE ENERGY

2009-02-05T14:48:00.002Z

ELECTRIC HAMSTERS

The recent discovery of pre-historic giant hamster remains promoted thought in the field of alternative energy. We believe, through genetic modification and DNA, an ‘ancient’ hamster could be created from a ‘modern’ hamster. This coupled with exercise drums of appropriate dimensions could provide mobile generating units for the populace. Pilot studies may prove present generating equipment to be out dated. Your thoughts on this would be gratefully received..

2009-02-03T10:41:00.000Z

Ancient knowledge

Coaguline.
Decalcomanie.
Diaphanie.
Dr Ure's Ink.
Farina.
Gutta Percha.
Ipecacuanha.
Old Albert's Constitutional.
Patent Borax.
Pearlash.
Preston Salts.
Probable Results.
Quassia.
Roches Embrocation.
Seidlitz Powders.
Squills.Sterine.
Venetian Soap.
While going through one of my old volumes I came across the above, unfortunately no-one knows what they are, what they were used for, nor where they came from. Can any of our readers help?

Seidlitz Powders

A reply from over t’ill informed me the above are/were an early form of that fizzy stuff we take after the night before.

Azadirachta indica – The Neem Tree

2009-02-03T10:37:00.002Z

Prepare to Repel Boarders!

This Government seems to thrive on lists. Lists for this and lists for that. So many lists is there any wonder it’s listing? There was a list recently about MRSA and all the other bugs which abound in today’s places of care. I’m getting very fed up with this constant wailing from Westminster, on how they can’t do anything nor have anything, to stop the onslaught of microbes. Strange. Very very strange, because there’s a plant derivative, which has been used on the Indian Sub-Continent for over 5 millennia - NEEM. Azadirachta indica – The Neem Tree.

It is a natural anti fungal, anti virus, anti bacteria, anti ulcer, anti-inflammatory and a host of other antis too numerous to put into one letter. So why have the Government not looked at this ancient prescription, which has no harmful side effects, except to those which are harmful to Man and his animals? It has and is the subject of trials, world wide, to find why one tree has one could say supernatural powers, to overcome such a plethora of nasties.

Many of your readers will attest to it’s efficacy and, like me, wish more outlets in the valley would stock Neem products. Perhaps those we approached over the past couple of years would think again. It is our health we are concerned with not fancy packaging and high prices when compared to products which really work. Help your custom take another look at those leaflets and keep bugs at bay.

www.junglesales.com

Moldywarp

2009-01-06T12:00:00.001Z

Didderdale Vintners

The Countryman’s Choice

Moldywarp

Sensitive nose.
Earthy, with a touch
of meadow grass.
Smooth, velvety body.
Petite yet powerful.
Essence of the
underworld.

We are excited to introduce
our latest rare vintage.
‘THE’ country lovers whine.
Definitely for those of
a ‘green’ disposition.

The flavour of the Millennia.

Available for short periods
at stockists around your area.

Moldywarp - the whine you can’t mistake.

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Moldywarp is an old country name for the mole.
It’s also the name of a well known Ilkley pop group.

Ilkley's Refugee Problem Grows.

2008-12-30T14:28:00.000Z

Refugees

Ilkley's refugee problem grows!

The above is guaranteed to have the population asking, "What refugees?"

The number of refugees has grown to such proportion they no longer hide from the outside world. With housing and industrial development come more refugees. So it will continue until them over t'ill and some this side realise, it's not all Yorkshire Water's failing which gave rise to increased rodent sightings. It is the increased population of Man. Local and District Councillors are lucky this is Yorkshire and not far flung countries where similar development brought so-called problems with Elephants and Tigers. We are the greatest problem if only the majority could see it.

Open spaces, woodland, river and stream banks, whether public or private are home to thousands of animals, birds, insects and other species. Remove this habitat and they move elsewhere. Remove enough of it and they start rubbing shoulders with humankind, the very cause of their problem in the first. Typical of humans, they cannot see the obvious and start throwing blame in all directions save the right one. At various council meetings I and others were informed 'in-fill' developments were preferential to green belt development. No doubt, but wildlife does no differentiate between green, brown or any other coloured belt. It is their habitat which takes the chop.

Residents may remember two videos of the Ilkley area I made highlighting fly-tipping. Little has changed. Apart that is from the rise in developed land throughout the community. Our former large gardens, each a miniature nature reserve, have given way to hard landscape. Once safe 'green corridors' gave way to suicide alleys in the name of development by Earth's most dangerous animal - Man. Blocked drains, over-grown becks and fly tipping cause some problems. However more open ground and less hard landscape will eventually lower rodent numbers.
A recent front page documenting the rise in Ilkley's rodent population overlooked other important points. While some blame may be put on temperature changes or litter dropping by the community, visiting or otherwise, nothing hinted at the numerous developments in the neighbourhood. Nor the large amounts of garden and other refuse tipped into woodland, on moorland and river banks from nearby habitation. The answer to the so-called problem is in your hands, the planners and government.